A cold night of January: Let it all fall...

Title: A cold night of January

Fandom: ONE OK ROCK

Chapter: 4

Characters/Pairing: Tomoya

Rating: all ages

Genre: slice of life, drama.

Disclaimer: You may find a terrible grammar, be warned.

Especial disclaimer for members of House Kanki: I promise this isn't the last chapter. Relax, it will all be worth it at the end.

Not yet convinced, 14 years old Kanki Tomoya revolved between his fingers a new set of drumsticks, lying on his bed, feeling the moonlight bath his body as it entered through the window.  The fraternal Christmas gift wasn’t enough to change his hobby from baseball to music. To make things worse, the New Year money was specifically given to him so he could change those old drums his brother left him. “Go to music school. You’re good at it”. Maybe nii-chan was right. But, for Tomoya, the only thought of leaving Hyodo, and therefore, his family and friends, was too much to handle.

For some reason, his brother managed to talk his parents into this madness, and has been insisting him for 3 months now. Maybe it was some way to see his own dream fulfilled through him. After all, he never got to be a famous drummer as he wanted. You’re too selfish. This isn’t my dream, this is yours. All he ever wanted was to play baseball. Sure, he always liked when nii-chan taught him to play. He was always nice and patient, the definition of a good teacher. Plus, it was the only moment when they could be alone, and enjoy each other. At least, since they were kids. Still, is not my fault that you decided to marry early.

Craving for fresh air, he sneaked out of his house, trying not to get caught by his parents. He grabbed his bike, and hit the road.

It was a clear and cold night. The air was somehow dry, even when it had been raining until the night before. There were huge puddles where rice pads should be during summer and it was cold enough to see the moon reflect on the smooth surface of the frozen water. They looked like giant silver lakes. He stopped on the side of the road to watch the scenery. The cold breeze ruffled his already too long hair. A sigh escaped his lips, leaving a trail of mist behind. I need to make him understand. I can’t leave them, not my family. He shook his head in frustration. How did you do that? How did you managed to convince mom and dad? They talked you out of it, but now they’re talking me in? I just don’t understand. Why me? Why?  

With the recent thoughts still flooding his head, he hit the road again. His legs ached because of the intense cold, but he kept pedaling hoping they would get warm with the exercise. Bending his toes inside his boots, he felt the cold texture of the sock’s fabric against his bare skin. A long chill went down his spine. He clenched to the handlebar while starting to pass a curve. Beyond there was a long descent, straight as a ruler, that he used to ride when he was little.

This is it. After the descent, I’ll have my head clear. I’ll have my decision made and it will be what’s best for me. He stopped pedaling as the descent began. Driven only by the inertia of the fall, he slowly let go of the handlebar, and prepared to stand on the pedals. As he raised his arms, he felt the wind leak through every hair, and every fiber of his clothes. The cold burned his skin and permeated his bones.  And so, while closing his eyes,  his thoughts began to emerge, along with some long forgotten memories.

The first lesson with nii-chan, when he was just 6 years old. “This is the bass drum. And if you press this pedal here, it will make a BOOM.”  After that he got so fund of it, that he just kept adding more bass to all the rhythms. At the end, he added another bass drum to the set. He could still feel the anger from that time when nii-chan suggested him to use a double pedal. He was sure he could get the same sound just with the speed of his feet.

There was also that time. A couple years ago, the last time nii-chan stayed for the night without his wife. Tomoya remembered waking up late at night. It was a warm summer night, and the back door was  open wide. As he draw near, he heard his brother talking to someone. At first he thought he was just on the phone. But after a while, he realized he could hear the other’s voice. It was a very delicate but confident woman’s voice. They both sounded very serious, as if they were discussing something important. “So that means I can’t do it?” “I’m sorry, but that’s just the way it is. I know it’s not fair to you, but there’s nothing I can do. Even if I wanted too.” “No, don’t get me wrong. I think he deserves it. I’ll try my best. I promise.”  And the memory vanished, as easy as it had emerged.

The moon was still high, in all its glory, bathing with its light the long descent, as  showing  its travelers the road.  Tomoya could feel the light leaking through his eyelids, turning every idea into a pink shade that covered everything.

A roaring sound forced him out of his trance. As soon as he opened his eyes, he got dazzled by the bright light in front of him. Oh, right. I forgot my safety vest . His body, already numbed because of the cold, softened  the pain.  Near his left ear, the beat of the engine pistons wove a fast requiem, accompanied  by  the scratching sound of several tires trying desperately to avoid the inevitable. Ah. It needs more bass drum.

To be continued.

A cold night of January: Fate?

Title: A cold night of January

Fandom: ONE OK ROCK

Chapter: 3 

Characters/Pairing: Toru/Stranger

Rating: all ages

Genre: mistery, friendship, slice of life.

Disclaimer: you may find a terrible grammar, be warned.
It was late that night. 16 years old Yamashita Toru, got tired of waiting in the sidewalk of an ordinary convenience store. The expected never showed up.  He turned on his heels, and started walking to the train station.

Kicking cans all along the way; he muttered his frustration out, low enough to let his voice be covered by sound of the tinkling garbage. “He pisses me off! I don’t understand. It’s just a fucking rehearsal! Why wouldn’t he come? Plus, he could do so much better… He’s wasting his entire potential.” His thoughts wandered from his band to the intended vocalist. He kept walking, almost by inertia, trusting his muscular memory to orientate his footsteps. He never realized he was actually going in the wrong direction.

Suddenly, his feet found no support. A loud crack sound was heard. In the middle of the fall, Toru was getting ready to find his nose crashed against the concrete of the road. But, that never happened. Somehow, he floated away from the concrete, and got back on his feet again. His face turned into a very recognizable “WTF” in a matter of micro-seconds. 

-Aren’t you going to thank me?-

The mysterious voice got him by surprise. He immediately turned back only to find a tall onne-san standing behind. She had long dark blonde hair, and silvery skin. Or at least, that’s how it shined under the street lights. He kept staring at her for a few seconds, and when he opened his mouth to speak, the words got stuck in his throat, unable to produce a decent “What?”

-I said: Aren’t you going to thank me? I just saved you from busting your face in the street.-

-Thank you. It just that… You took me by surprise. I’m sorry.-

-It’s OK. Can I talk to you about something?

Toru looked at the watch on his wrist. He was going to lose the last train.

-Ah… Maybe in another time. I have to go. I’m sorry. Bye!-

He ran as fast as he could, realizing how far he actually was from the station. For some reason, he lost track of where he was going, and that never happened to him before. Especially, not when going to the station, a road he walked every day.

He finally caught the train on time. Almost breathless, he sat on the first sit he saw, and laid his head on the back. Thereupon, he closed his eyes out of pure fatigue. He was lucky tomorrow was Sunday, and he didn’t have school. He thought he’ll be able to get a good sleep.

-Is now a good time? - The voice sounded somehow familiar.

Startled, he turned his head both sides trying to locate the owner of the voice. He didn’t record how much time had passed, but he didn’t remember to see anyone on that wagon when he entered.

 There, a few seats away, was the strange onne-san, staring at him, as if there was nothing weird on the fact that she just appeared in the train. Some chills ran on Toru’s spine.

-Um… How did you get here? - He would’ve sworn he saw her walking the opposite way.

-So you want me to answer a question… That’s not fair-

-Eh? Ok, what do you want from me? Why are you following me? - He got impatient.

-What makes you think I’m following you?-

-Well, you’re here. That’s pretty obvious! - This was too much. He was too tired, and didn’t have the energy required to deal with a crazy girl.

-Maybe, I was coming here on the first place. Don’t judge a book by its cover.

Somehow, the girl’s expression was very calm. “Maybe…” thought Toru, “I’m not her first victim.” Luckily, in the meantime, the train got to the station where he had to go down. He left in a hurry, making sure he wasn’t being followed. The last thing he needed was some creepy girl stalking him at home.

In the morning, he took extra time to have a proper breakfast. It seemed like ages ago, since the last time he had his grilled white salmon and his barley tea in the same meal.  Everything was going great. If things go as he expected, that stubborn brat would agree to his petition, and they would finally have a vocalist. That’s all he wanted.

He left his house, and headed towards the train station. This time, he wasn’t going to the usual convenience store. No, this time, he headed to a dance studio located in Shibuya, Tokyo. So it was going to be a long ride of at least 4 hours.

Once in the shinkansen, he sat right next to the window, and watched the landscape run by as it turned into a soft lullaby, dragging him to a deep sleep. Suddenly, a loud woman’s voice woke him up. “We inform the passengers we’ll be arriving to Tokyo soon. Please, gather your luggage and wait in your seats until the unity stops the motion.” The trip felt shorter than the last time. “This is a good sign”, he thought.

He checked his watch, while leaving the station. He still had 2 hours left, before he headed to Shibuya and an incipient headache, that he better took care of it soon, or he’ll regret it later. He decided to walk around the city a little bit. Looking for a pharmacy, he went through several streets, not before asking to also several strangers. Toru finally found one, and began his hunt for a bottle of painkillers.

It was a small place. There was a large hall, with an equally large counter on one side, and several shelves on the other. He stood in front of a rack that had a sign on top that said “Analgesics”. Under it, there were hundreds of different brands, which made the decision very difficult for him.

Grabbing five different boxes, he headed to the counter to see if maybe, the employee would help him decide. Behind it, there was girl, dressed with a short, white coat. She seemed to be arranging some boxes in the rack placed close to wall. Since he had time to spare; he thought it’ll be better to let her finish before asking for his painkillers. He turned around, and paid more attention to the shelves in front of him.

There was this large shelf, with many different glass jars. They appeared to be old, and had herbal plant content, with tags on them. The names were pretty strange also. Eruca sativa and Mulinum spinosum, were the only ones he could at least try to pronounce. There was also a big one, with pretty little bluish flowers inside. Giving in to curiosity, he reached for it.

-No! Don’t touch that!

Scared, and a little embarrassed, Toru turned around to face the owner of the voice. There, dressing the short coat he saw before, was the strange girl from the previous night.

-I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to be rude. But that jar has digitalis purpurea on it. It’s been there forever, but God knows how much active principle has left. It is best to leave it as decoration, if you don’t want to die.

-I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have done that. - With his current blush, it took a while for him to get out his shock. - Wait a minute… Aren’t you that girl from last night?! How is it…?

-It’s OK.  I can see for these – she pointed to the boxes on the counter- that this isn’t a good time. I won’t bother you for now.

That answer surprised him. He was really preparing for a thread of incessant questions. But instead of a fanatical stalker, he got a good employee, who apparently just saved his life. Playing with his fingers, in a very awkward attitude, the words didn’t seem to leave his mouth.

-T-t-tha-than… UGhhh! - His body language showed a complete defeat. - Ano… It’s OK. You can ask me anything you want.

-What kind of pain are you suffering from?

-Eh?? Is that what you wanted to know all this time?

-Don’t be silly. You obviously don’t know what drug to pick. I’m just trying to help you.

-Oh... OK. – He bent his head trying to hide his sudden blush. -  It’s like a pulsating pain, in the back of my head.

-Hmmm… OK. – She turned around and grabbed another box form one on the shelves behind her. She made a soft giggle while doing so.

-What is it so funny? - The effort to sound angry was useless. His headache wasn’t incipient anymore.

-That’s guilt.

-Eh?

-The pain. My grandmother used to say that a pulsating pain meant that you were doing something wrong, for selfish reasons. Therefore, the guilt for doing so caused the pain.

-A so… Well, I don’t know what you’re talking about. -  A pang of sudden pain forced him to flinch.

-A so… well, apparently you do. - She handed him a little green box that said “ergotamine”.

-Why do you care? I can’t tell if you’re just trying to be nice, or…

-I am. I’m trying to do something nice for you, but you don’t let me.

-Eh? What is this got to do with my headache? That’s the only problem I have, and you’ve done enough for me. Thank you.

Angry, and suffering another pang, he headed to the door.  He was then blocked by the girl. She suddenly seemed taller, and more threatening. Covering his forehead with her hand, she pushed him back inside the local. A flash came out of nowhere, and all of the sudden, Toru found himself sitting in one of the waiting benches inside the pharmacy.

The pain was certainly gone, but he could still feel discomfort in his head. For some reason, that pulsating “pain” was still there, but without the pain itself.

The girl was standing in front of him. Leaning on the counter, crossed legs and arms, she watched him with a calm expression.

-Are you feeling any better? - There was a strange glow in her eyes that he couldn’t figure out entirely.

-Ah, I don’t know… What just happened?

-I took away the pain. You should feel better, if that’s the only thing that was wrong with you…

-I’m sorry. -The guilt was starting to become a burden. -  There are other things that are wrong with me. I know that you probably mean right with this, but, please, understand me. I can’t trust a stalker…

- Like you expect that boy to do, I understand.

-What? What boy? What are you talking ab…

-That boy from the combini store. The one who’s in that pretty boy band.

-What? I’m not stalking him!!

-Oh, really? Chasing him everywhere, forcing him to accept your proposal, even if you haven’t introduce yourself properly…

-No! No… I… just…- his voice faded away.

She was right. He was being selfish. Insisting all the time, still thinking that it would work, even if it hasn’t. After all these months, without any positive result, and he still insisted in taking the same strategy. Blindly, foolishly, insisting. Maybe, it was stalking after all.

-You know? Everything would be easier if you just start over. Make a clean slate, and introduce yourself.

-After all that has happened, I’m not sure he will…

-He will. Trust me. Everything is better when you’re honest. -  At last, the glow on her eyes was nothing else than honest concern, and the satisfaction of a job well done.

That night.

Like the weird onne-san assured him, everything went strangely well after he introduced himself. Taka (he realized he never actually asked him what his real name was), finally accepted, and went to see a rehearsal. After an entire hour arguing about the melody of the new song, they decided to take a break.

Toru went to the building’s terrace. He found Taka with his head high, gazing upon the night sky. The poor light made his hair look almost as dark as the night. Toru got closer, and sat next to him. He picked his cigars and offered him one.

-No, thanks. I’m quitting.

-Eh? Really? The cancer ads got you, ha?

-Not really. More like my future got me.

-Your future?

-Yup. I’ve decided I’ll join the band.

Toru spat his cigar out.-Hontou?! Yokatta!

Taka smiled back at him. He seemed at peace; as if he had made amends with himself.-Can I ask you something?

-Yeah, sure. -  Toru took a puff of his cigar.

-How did you know I’d say yes?

-I just thought that if I waited long enough, and insisted long enough, you would eventually come to your senses.

-But, why did you wait? Why me?

Toru searched his mind for an answer. But nothing he could find seemed enough. He didn’t know why either.

-I guess… I… I waited for you because… honestly… I didn’t want anyone else.

-Why not? What is it with us?

-I don’t know… Hahahaha… Fate?

Toru laughed at his ridiculous answer and hoped Taka did the same. For some reason, he didn’t.

-Yeah, fate.

His eyes, bright as the stars, said everything.

A cold night of January: The second day of the year.

Title: A cold night of January

Fandom: ONE OK ROCK

Chapter: 2 

Characters/Pairing: Ryota/Stranger

Rating: all ages

Genre: mistery, friendship, slice of life.

Disclaimer: you may find a terrible grammar, be warned.

On the second day of the year, 15 years old Kohama Ryota, found himself walking to the music store. This had been happening quite often during the past few days. The eager to get himself a new bass was too big to contain.

Holding his freshly acquired money with his left hand, he buttoned up his black coat, and tied his green with white stripes scarf (a Christmas present from his onne-chan) around his now cold neck. Running through the passing cars, and being exited enough to ignore the traffic lights, he crossed the street in order to get to the store.

Inside, there was Christmas décor everywhere; apparently, the owner was too lazy to remove them. Ryota walked straight to the counter that had that big ass five strings bass he wanted so much. He stayed there for a long time, staring at the magnificent instrument, as if it had some strange power that kept him hypnotized.

-You would look really good with that on your hands- The strange voice forced him to snap out of his fantasy.

-Excuse me? - The figure of a tall onne-san appeared in front of his eyes. She had long dark blonde curly hair, a rare silvery skin and “golden eyes? WTF! She must be using contact lenses, for sure!”

-Think about it! I know it looks big, but I bet you’ll grow taller in a couple years. It’ll look awesome! - She said with a charming smile.

Ryota felt his heart go heavier. Something wasn’t right.  People always told him he had some sort of sixth sense, and this time, it was telling him to be careful.  He got closer enough for her to be only one who listens to him.

-What are you? - He whispered in her ear with the softest voice he could make, although hormones didn't help much.

She looked straight into his eyes. Ryota felt as if she could pierce his head out of pure intensity. He tried to look away, but there was a sort of gravity that drowned him and prevented him from doing so.

-What and not who… That’s an interesting question. – A smirk appeared on her face- I knew you were good, but I didn’t think it was this much- Her eyes shined with a reflexive glow.

She was right. That was a strange question, but somehow, it seemed fitted. He contemplated her crooked smile for a while. Her upper lip was thinner than its lower counterpart.

-You didn’t answer my question…-

-Why ask a question when you know you won’t like the answer? -  Again, the crooked smile showed up.

-Curiosity is one of my major features. - If this was a challenge, he wasn’t going to lose. That was for sure.

-Alright. But I bet for the money you have on your left pocket, that you won’t believe me if I tell you the truth. - 

-What makes you think I have any money with me?-This time was his turn for the crooked smile.

-Exactly 45.000 yen. A large effort from your parents and sister.-

Ryota dropped his jaw. Was it possible that she was a sort of psychic? How else would she know about onne-chan anyway?

-How do you know? -  His nerves managed to make him stutter a bit.

- I didn’t. You just told me. You’re too young for these kinds of games, my dear. - She shook his hair with her left hand.

Ryota felt his nerves switch to anger in an instant. She was good, but that didn’t mean she could mock him for free, and in public.

-Fine!! What do you want from me? - His pout was now too evident.

-Two things!- her smile went from crooked to full of warmth- First, I want you to promise  you will  keep practicing no matter what or how you feel about it. You, my friend, are going to be one hell of a bass player. Trust me, I know.-

-Yeah, right… And you know that because you can see the future…-

-Actually, I can. – Her voice sounded honest.

-What…? But, I’m the only one that doesn’t know how to play anything. I’m barely starting, and there’s no way I can ever catch up to them. Plus, I’m…- He made an effort to contain his upcoming tears.

-Hey! I’m the one who sees the future! Trust me, make this your new year’s resolution. You’ll be alright, I promise. - She finished the line by kissing her index finger while forming a cross sign, first vertical, and then in horizontal way.

-Hey!! Kid! Are you Ok? - A low deep voice called from the other side of the store.

Ryota followed the voice, just to find out it was the owner who was talking to them.

-Quick!! We don’t have much time! - She forced him to face her again; by holding his chin with a very delicate touch- I want you to give Alex this message…

- Hey! Kid! I’m talking to you!!- The owner was getting impatient.

She whispered the words on his ear.

-You’ll know when the right time comes…

-Hey, kid!!- A heavy palm slapped his right shoulder, forcing him to turn back at it.

-Hai!! I’m sorry!! Is there something wrong?-

-Eh??  You tell me. You’ve been talking alone for an hour. - The look on the owner’s face was true concern.

-What? No, I was talking to…- Ryota turned back just to find his strange companion gone. There was no trace of her, only the five strings bass as a final silent witness of the strangest day of his life.

 May 6 of 2009.

A 19 years old version of Ryota is on the phone with Alex. Lying on the hotel bed, he plays with the phone cable, while trying to calm down his depressed friend.

-Dude, it’s going to be OK. But you have to stop drinking so much. If you keep going like this, your liver is going to be a mess in a couple of years. That’s not cool, man.- His voice trembled due to the fatigue the recent concert left on him.

- Yeah, you keep saying that, but…

-But?

-But today would’ve been the release if it wasn’t for me. I hate myself for that.

-Again?!! Dude, we already talked about this. Everything is going to be fine. The fans are going to be fine, the band is…

-I know the band is going to be fine!! You guys are awesome… It’s like you never needed me in the first place…- His voice trailed off into a sob.

“So this is what all is about”. Ryota scrambled his head in search for an answer. There was no nice way to explain it. They weren’t better than before, they were just different. But it was true they were also awesome. After Alex left, the four remaining members felt more in balance and that allowed them to create better songs. “Tsk! One single answer… Is it too much to ask?” Suddenly, a stream of words appeared in the back of his head. “You’ll know when the right time comes”.

-Dude!! Are you still there??!!-  His voice brought him back to reality.

-Sorry, what?

-Look, if you’re sleepy or something, just tell me, and I’ll leave you alone…

-What? No, it’s nothing like that. I was just thinking, that’s all.

-Thinking? About what?

-About something a fan told me, a few days ago. She was very pretty, by the way.

-Really? What did she say?

- She said: “We still miss you, and we always will”.

-What? Miss who?

-Who do you think, dumbass?!!

-Oh… Hmmm… Right... She meant me...- suddenly, the atmosphere became wormer- Ah... I’m getting sleepy… Sorry I kept you up so late… I…- Ryota could perceive a hint of relief on his voice.

-It’s Ok. Just promise to not get drunk. I don’t want to risk my life buying you a new liver in the black market…

-Haha… Don’t worry, I won’t. Thanks dude!! Bye!!

He hung the phone. The clock on the wall struck 00:12 am.